The sexiest eroticismG20 summit is fully underway in Hamburg, and even though our fearless* leader Donald Trump had a lot of trouble finding a hotel room, he showed up. And he shook some hands.
As Mashable'sresident Handshake Expert, I went through all the pictures I could find of Trump shaking hands with another person and carefully studied each one.
SEE ALSO: A step-by-step guide to utterly botching a simple handshake photo op, by Donald Trump and Angela MerkelLet's see how he did!
Trump and Merkel I
HAMBURG, GERMANY - JULY 06: German Chancellor Angela Merkel receives U.S. President Donald Trump in the Hotel Atlantic, on the eve of the G20 summit, for bilateral talks on July 6, 2017 in Hamburg, Germany. Leaders of the G20 group of nations are meeting for the July 7-8 summit. Topics high on the agenda for the summit include climate policy and development programs for African economies. (Photo by Jens Schluter - Pool/Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images Hmm. Yikes. Not looking good here. This is a classic1/10handshake. He looks like he was distracted by someone whispering his name and Merkel just grabbed his hand. Maybe it was just a bad picture. Let's see if it improved a few seconds later and oh no...
Trump and Merkel II
HAMBURG, GERMANY - JULY 06: German Chancellor Angela Merkel receives U.S. President Donald Trump in the Hotel Atlantic, on the eve of the G20 summit, for bilateral talks on July 6, 2017 in Hamburg, Germany. Leaders of the G20 group of nations are meeting for the July 7-8 summit. Topics high on the agenda for the summit include climate policy and development programs for African economies. (Photo by Jens Schluter - Pool/Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images Oof. Okay this was just a doomed performance. I give this shake a 1/10. It looks like he just noticed that she grabbed his hand and has that look on his face that the Scooby Doo villains get when they're about to blame something on "meddling kids." Amicably shaking hands with Angela Merkel should be an easy task. Show us how it's done Emmanuel Macron.
Macron and Merkel
HAMBURG, GERMANY - JULY 7: German Chancellor Angela Merkel greets French President Emmanuel Macron upon his arrival for the first day of the G20 economic summit on July 7, 2017 in Hamburg, Germany. The G20 group of nations are meeting July 7-8 and major topics will include climate change and migration. (Photo by Morris MacMatzen/Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images See, just like th- okay wow that is tooclose actually. Let's scale it wayback. Or maybe don't. Show us what love looks like.
OK Donald, let's try this once more, shall we?
Trump and Merkel III
HAMBURG, GERMANY - JULY 7: German Chancellor Angela Merkel greets U.S. President Donald Trump upon his arrival for the first day of the G20 economic summit on July 7, 2017 in Hamburg, Germany. The G20 group of nations are meeting July 7-8 and major topics will include climate change and migration. (Photo by Morris MacMatzen/Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images Hey not bad! Now that's what I call a handshake! Although he does look like he's a property owner having some sort of problem with a tree hanging over his fence. I'm kind of stingy on handshake form so I am afraid I am still going with a on this one 1/10. Sorry, I'm kind of a stickler.
Trump and Putin I
HAMBURG, GERMANY - JULY 07: In this photo provided by the German Government Press Office (BPA) Donald Trump, President of the USA (left), meets Vladimir Putin, President of Russia (right), at the opening of the G20 summit on July 7, 2017 in Hamburg, Germany. The G20 group of nations are meeting July 7-8 and major topics will include climate change and migration. (Photo by Steffen Kugler /BPA via Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images This is the "Handshake Heard 'Round the World" as it marks the first time these infamous two have publicly met. And yet I rate this handshake a 1/10for the unfortunate forearm grab that Donald Trump executes here. It's unreciprocated and comes off as desperate. But he could be simply evaluating the strength of Putin's forearm, from one man to another.
Trump and Sergei Lavrov
MANDATORY CREDIT
Mandatory Credit: Photo by MICHAEL KLIMENTYEV/SPUTNIK/REX/Shutterstock (8913612cl)
Vladimir Putin, Sergei Lavrov and Donald J. Trump
G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany - 07 Jul 2017
Russian President Vladimir Putin (C), Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov (L) and US President Donald J. Trump (R) meet on the sidelines of the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany, 07 July 2017. The G20 Summit (or G-20 or Group of Twenty) is an international forum for governments from 20 major economies. The summit is taking place in Hamburg from 07 to 08 July 2017.
Credit: SPUTNIK/REX/Shutterstock I rate this handshake a 1/10. There is simply no chemistry here and Vladimir Putin is right in the middle of them. Staring Trump down. Looking at him. Making sure he sees everything that happens.
On a side note: wouldn't it be great if Donald Trump let his long-ass sideburns down one day? Those things are luscious.
Credit: SPUTNIK/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK Let those suckers hang!
Trump and Jim Yong Kim
Mandatory Credit: Photo by DANIEL KOPATSCH/EPA/REX/Shutterstock (8911661nr) Jim Yong Kim and Donald J. Trump G20 Summit in Hamburg, Germany - 07 Jul 2017 US President Donald J. Trump with World Bank President Jim Yong Kim (L), before the family picture on the opening day of the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany, 07 July 2017. The G20 Summit (or G-20 or Group of Twenty) is an international forum for governments from 20 major economies. The summit is taking place in Hamburg 07 to 08 July 2017. Credit: KOPATSCH/EPA/REX/Shutterstock I give this extremely bad shake a 1/10simply because it is obvious that Donald Trump is confused and Jim Yong Kim looks a little too jubilant in his presence. Trump looks like he just spotted his car, or something to eat, and someone has once again grabbed his hand without permission.
Trump and Putin II
MANDATORY CREDIT
Mandatory Credit: Photo by MICHAEL KLIMENTYEV/SPUTNIK/REX/Shutterstock (8913612bz)
Vladimir Putin and Donald J. Trump
G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany - 07 Jul 2017
Russian President Vladimir Putin (L) and US President Donald J. Trump (R) shake hands during a meeting on the sidelines of the G20 summit in Hamburg, Germany, 07 July 2017. The G20 Summit (or G-20 or Group of Twenty) is an international forum for governments from 20 major economies. The summit is taking place in Hamburg from 07 to 08 July 2017.
Credit: SPUTNIK/REX/Shutterstock This unorthodox shake reminds me of when my friend asked me to watch his cat while he was out of town for five days. In addition to feeding the cat, he wanted me to give it two treats a day. I only remembered to do it one time. In other words, I gave that cat 1/10. Which is unfortunately what I also have to give this extremely bad handshake.
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