If an Olive Garden runs out of breadsticks,???.?????.???.???? is it still even an Olive Garden?
For so long, this has been a question to which we've had no answer. But now we have come a little closer thanks to one man, his Twitter, and a date.
On Wednesday, Joe Wadlington used Twitter to share the story of a date with someone who used to be the general manager at the Olive Garden in Times Square.
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Just that word combination -- Olive Garden, Times Square -- makes us cringe on every level. Wadlington seemed also to recognize this, but the curiosity was too strong. He did what any of us would have done -- ask about the Garden's famous breadsticks.
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Somehow, the terribleness of the situation is starkly palpable just from this tweeted answer. We keep imagining people pounding their hands on the table, chanting, "No. No. No. No."
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It's been confirmed that Olive Garden is one of the symbols of America to those outside our country. This is probably something we should not be proud of. But clearly some of us still are because we are willingly going to the Times Square Olive Garden to throw our money away?
We also agree that it makes no sense.
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People waited TWO HOURS to eat at Olive Garden.
In the city that boasts the home of the cronut, a cookie dough shop, and a multitude of Michelin-starred restaurants.
But no, it was decided that Olive Garden would be worth the wait.
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While we're heartened this eight-hour eating marathon has never been attempted, we now fear for the Times Square Olive Garden staff that it's going to happen. Because now we know that we're "family."
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The Olive Garden Knife Fight: Based on a True Story, coming soon to theaters near you.
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Moral of the tweets: Breadsticks are BAE. We may or may not be on the verge of World War III, but if Olive Garden runs out of breadsticks the world has already ended.
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