The порнография азиаткиinternet loves a fart. We might as well accept it. There's just something about a poorly timed toot that surpasses all levels of intellectual comedy.
We all fart (yes, all of us), yet to let one slip at an inopportune time has to be one of the more embarrassingly hilarious parts of the human experience. If you're someone who's accidentally done it in a room full of people, we hope you can laugh about it now.
If you're not quite at that point of acceptance, avert your eyes. We're about to talk about some big, stinky, holy crap did that just happen!? farts. Without further ado, Mashable presents: 9 times somebody blew an air biscuit at a really bad time.
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1. Mike Ditka on Monday Night Countdown
One minute you're trying to predict who will win the Monday Night Football matchup between the Giants and the Eagles, and the next it's... ppppffffftttttt. Former football player Mike Ditka, at the time of his epic fart a commentator on ESPN's Monday Night Countdown,appeared to torch co-commentator Cris Carter with the nasty gas on live TV in 2015. Ditka denied that he farted, but the look on Carter's face says otherwise.
SEE ALSO: For one beautiful night, #fartgate actually united all of Twitter2. Whoopi Goldberg on The View
"Oh excuse me... I think I just blew a little frog outta there!" Whoopi Goldberg set the stench free while interviewing Claire Danes on ABC's The View in 2011 and made no effort whatsoever to play it off, much to the delight of her co-hosts and studio audience. To be fair, there was no hiding this one. Once it was out there, it was out there. This really wasthe origin story the Whoopee Cushion deserved. Apparently, this wasn't the only time Whoopi broke wind on the show.
3. Cyandra Galarza during a vlog
Young vlogger Cyandra Galarza was merely going through her closet while recording a video when the fart seemingly slipped out, and apparently made it through to the editing process.
"Did you guys hear that? I'm scared," Cyandra says, shirking responsibility and instead seemingly blaming the potential fart on a ghost. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Cyandra now has over 20,000 subscribers.
4. Eric Swalwell (#FartGate)
It was only weeks ago (as of this posting) that California representative Eric Swalwell made a booty blast on MSNBC while discussing the Trump impeachment hearings, but it feels like it's been years. Maybe that's just the 2019 effect, where events go by quickly but so feel long and drawn out that you swear they happened a long time ago — much like a fart. Nevertheless, this is the reality we live in. It didn't take long for #FartGate to take shape on social media and spread like a noxious gas. A BuzzFeed reporter asked Swalwell about the fart, and Swalwell denied it. But ya gotta convince the internet, Mr. Swalwell. Best of luck to you.
5. Alabama weatherman stankin' up the news
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The news got a little stanky when this Alabama weatherman appeared to sneak a fart in during the news broadcast. He's just giving his good ol' weather report until he points his behind off camera, and then you hear that oh-so-familiar squeak. Was it actually a fart? Who's to say? But it sure sounded like the weatherman broke wind during his weather update, which should have called for a gusty morning.
6. Canadian Idol contestant during her audition
We're not sure where Chelsea Johnson is now, but we hope she made it big. Right as she was about to begin her audition on Canadian Idol, her booty decided to bring the bass. A low-but-loud fart took its sweet time making its way out, and Johnson instantly reacted.
"I totally just farted," she whispered, perhaps more to herself than the judges. And then, "I totally just farted!" in full-blown realization.
"You're in!" one judge yells. She better have won the whole damn thing.
7. Paul Pierce on ESPN
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"We're trapped in a room, y'all," was Michelle Beadle's response during a segment of ESPN's Off the Clockwhen she sensed something rank coming from retired NBA star Paul Pierce. Not much, if anything, can be heard, but Beadle didn't conceal that "Oh no, you didn't just do that" face before making her reaction known. Did Pierce rip one? What is "The Truth"?
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8. Max Kellerman on ESPN First Take
Evidently there's a gas leak over at ESPN, on this list for the third time. Here, ESPN First Take co-host Max Kellerman stands accused of letting that stank juice loose on set. During a recording of the show, Kellerman was in a debate with fellow co-host Stephen A. Smith, and you could say things got "heated." As Kellerman covered a cough, a faint poot sound can be heard. The Dan LeBatard Show investigated, asking Kellerman himself if he farted.
"...I don't know who dealt it," Kellerman said. "It wasn't me. That's all I can tell you." Well, we don't know who it was, but it definitely sounds like somebody cheesed on First Take.
9. Guy poots while bench pressing
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This guy was just trying to bench press when he released his demons. As soon as the weight collapses onto his chest, a fart slaps out, echoing across the room and throughout the realms of space time. 'Twas the fart heard 'round the gym, and, we guess, the internet as well.