Set as Homepage - Add to Favorites

日韩欧美成人一区二区三区免费-日韩欧美成人免费中文字幕-日韩欧美成人免费观看-日韩欧美成人免-日韩欧美不卡一区-日韩欧美爱情中文字幕在线

【porno mobil ücretsiz】Fresh Hell
The porno mobil ücretsizBaffler , November 2, 2018

Fresh Hell

The best dispatches from our grim new reality Jason Arias
Word Factory W
o
r
d

F
a
c
t
o
r
y

Hell, Reimagined

After decades of systematically slashing through cities to make way for parking lot vistas and bulk Fancy Feast on the cheap, Walmart has decided it’s time to cauterize these wounds by retrofitting their air-conditioned acres of bargains into simulacra of a thriving town square: “Green Space, Food, Beverage & Entertainment all in one location” ideal for “consumers of all ages to gather and share experiences.”

 

How to Be Dead and Still Make Millions! Click Here!

To make you feel better about barely making rent on your quaint hovel of a home, here is a list of the highest paid dead celebrities.

 

Strategies Against Unemployment

If you thought your résumé was an artfully arranged pile of lies and incompetence proving you to be woefully under qualified to be employed by anyone, you were right. Case in point: the résumé of this Chinese whiz kid, age five, highlighting the child’s “rich and varied experience and wide variety of hobbies,” including reading some ten thousand books and traveling the globe.

 

Fuck me gently with an AR-15

For the third time in a single calendar year, the beleaguered television series Heathers (a reboot of the eighties cult fave about the violent murder of multiple high school students by a bedroom-eyed loon and his wisecracking gal pal) was pulled from the air because of yet another mass shooting. The show was set to air in March, but then seventeen people were shot dead at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and it was rescheduled for July, only to be given the axe more after ten were killed at Santa Fe High School in Texas. Now it seems the teens of today may never get the chance to viddy egregious violence inflicted upon a fictional student body; they’ll have to settle for Facebook Live streams of the next school shooting instead.

 

Scoops Against Fascism

Unilever-owned ice cream concern Ben and Jerry’s has released sustenance for the coming insurrection: Pecan Resist, a limited batch of chocolate ice cream with white and dark fudge chunks, pecans, walnuts, and fudge-covered almonds. This confection has been known previously as “New York Super Fudge Chunk.” Ben and Jerry’s couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a new flavor for the resistance—just like the Democrats.

 

“But they’ve got a great company culture.”?

Pharmaceutical giant Merck & Co.—which netted north of $40 billion in revenue in 2017—has announced it will cease supplying rotavirus vaccines at a reduced price to impoverished children in West Africa, citing “supply constraints” and “packaging challenges that put greater stress on our already strained packaging capacity.”?Instead, it will commence hocking the life-saving vaccine in China, where it’s anticipated to fetch ten times the market price. Let’s pop a bottle of $150,000 champagne to celebrate the coming windfall for shareholders!

 

Whitey Gets Whacked

In the rush to memorialize the famed mobster, murderer, and double-crosser Whitey Bulger—who was found dead in his cell at a maximum security prison in West Virginia this week—we mustn’t forget his star turn as an unsuspecting guinea pig for the CIA,?forced to trip on massive doses of LSD for twelve to twenty-four hours at a time. He had a great time: “We experienced horrible periods of living nightmares and even blood coming out of the walls,” Bulger wrote of the psychedelic trips. “I felt like I was going insane.”

 

Spotted: Sole Sign of Beauty Left

In a solitary bright spot, the world’s most beautiful punk rock duck, a male Mandarin duck native to East Asia, has been spotted in Central Park.

0.1456s , 10020.1171875 kb

Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【porno mobil ücretsiz】Fresh Hell,Public Opinion Flash  

Sitemap

Top 主站蜘蛛池模板: 夫妇交换性3中文字幕a片 | 欧美在线+在线播放 | 天堂资源中文最新版在线 | 国产美女大量吞精在线播放 | 亚洲欧美日韩乱码综合久久 | 18成禁人视频打屁股免费网站 | 一区二区三区不卡视频 | 日日草夜夜操 | 2024日本大片免a费观看视频 | 亚洲熟妇无码一区二区三区导航 | 精品国产一区二区三区蜜桃 | 一区二区色 | 久久久久久综合一区中文字幕 | 加勒比精品性爱视频在线观看 | 秋霞无码av一区二区三区 | 亚洲一区二区三区国产四区 | 欧美日韩免费观看在线影片 | 亚洲精品无人一区二区 | 亚洲av无码成人精品国产白浆 | 国产精品视频中文字幕91 | 国产精品人妻一区二区三区四 | 久久精品国产色欲A片小说 久久精品国产视频在热 | 99精品国产一区二区三区不卡 | 日本A级作爱片金瓶双艳 | 成人免费无码大片a毛片抽搐色欲 | 在线亚洲精品国产一区麻豆 | 91精品欧美激情在线播放 | 7799天天综合在线 | 18国产丰满xxx毛片成人内射国产免 | 美日韩在线 | 欧洲精品在线永久视频隐藏入口 | 久久久久久毛片免费观看 | 日韩精品视频一区二区 | 久久久久久久精品国产亚洲 | 91久久国产综合精品 | 2024国内精品久久久久影院 | 久久久国产亚洲精品无码 | 亚洲成人99 | 精品国产欧美另类一区 | 精品乱码久久久久久日本麻豆 | 精品日韩一区 |