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Confused why you are treat me like a blond whore sex videosseeing #TeamDoor and #TeamWheel content all over your FYP? We've got you covered. 

New internet debate unlocked

Wheels vs. Doors is the latest debate to consume the internet — following in the viral footsteps of The Dress and "Yanny or Laurel?" As with most things on TikTok, the discussion suddenly overtook my FYP this week without any context, and I am not alone. There are dozens of videos of TikTokkers humorously asking where this whole debate came from. A video from @bridgetmacfarlane sums it up nicely: "opening TikTok on a random Tuesday arvo and ur entire feed is people debating whether there’s more doors than wheels in the world and if there’s more chairs than people."

According to KnowYourMeme, the debate originated on Twitter (naturally). On March 4, @NewYorkNixon posted the now infamous Twitter poll asking, "Do you think there are more doors or wheels in the world?" A little over 230,000 accounts voted in the poll — 46.4 percent voted for doors, and 53.6 perfect for wheels. 

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The conversation migrated over to TikTok where users are vehemently arguing their cases. The tag "doorsorwheels" has over 25 million views, and "teamdoor" and "teamwheel" have 6 million and 44 million views, respectively. Based on the hashtags alone, Team Wheel seems to be the clear winner, but TikTok isn't known for its nuanced takes. For many TikTok users, the number of wheels in a room with only one door is evidence enough for "wheel supremacy." Some users, like @koowaluh, are even producing multi-part mathvideosto argue their case. 

I never thought I’d say this, but I would take inescapable Euphoria memes over a numbers-based debate any day. 

"Gangnam Style" is back

Bet you never thought you'd see the day when Psy's 2012 satirical smash hit became relevant again, but 10 years later, the internet's love for "Gangnam Style" is still going strong. TikTokker @koozebane made a groovy mash-up of "Gangnam Style"and Steve Lacy's N Side. It's become the soundtrack to a truly bizarre text-based trend on the app. The sound has been used in over 280,000 videos so far. 

Users share the benign beginnings of a story before revealing the shocking ending using the "Image Spin" effect, which encloses a line of text in six hexagons that dance around on the screen. This messy trend has TikTokkers telling their juiciest stories, and I'm personally here for it. Take @shaylamherrington's video as an example. It reads, "Nobody can find the groom. What if he wrecked on his way here?!" Then the Image Spin says, "The Groom hooking up with the bride's mom in the parking lot." 

The dizzying combination of "Gangnam Style," the Image Spin effect, and drama makes for a wildly entertaining trend. 

"Get your fucking ass up and work"

In a viral clip from the Kardashians' interview with Variety, Kim shares her best (and entirely tone deaf) advice for women in business. "Get your fucking ass up and work," she says. "It seems like no one wants to work these days."

Variety posted the interview snippet to Twitter and TikTok on Wednesday (March 9), and Kardashian immediately faced backlash for her advice. She's now gotten the TikTok treatment, with people using the audio ironically to describe people in their own lives. As user @exhibitionbuffalo says, "my dad when I'm depressed and can't get out of bed." (Unfortunately, gym TikTok is using Kardashian's quote sincerely... which is not the vibe.)

So far there are about 3,000 videos posted to the sound, and it has the potential to become even more popular over the weekend. This isn't the first time a member of the Kardashian family has had their moment on TikTok, and it certainly won't be the last.