Please excuse me while I watch a man make a prawn trap with his bare hands,nasty sex talk video for what's left of 2016.
The YouTube account Primitive Technology has only 22 videos, but each is a gem. More than 20 million views prove it -- watching someone build a mud hut with only rudimentary tools is excellent viewing.
The man behind the account, who has remained anonymous, says on his blog he lives in far north Queensland, Australia. So far he seems to have passed on media interviews, including my own.
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Perhaps he knows where his charm lies. The appeal of the videos is bound to their silence.
There is no speaking. No Bear "everything about the desert will suck you dry" Grylls narration. All you hear are the sounds of Australian bushland and stone against wood.
SEE ALSO: Forbes 2016 list of highest paid YouTubers will make you weepThe account has been around since 2015, but it seems particularly suited to sooth the rough edges of this year. I am no doomsday prep-er, nor do I watch the endless slog of reality shows about people living at one with nature and a film crew. Naked and Afraidfrankly looks horrific.
And though I have laughed at jokes about asteroids hitting the Earth in time for a Trump presidency, Primitive Technology is not only about imagining what I would do to survive when the time comes.
Judging by the comments, that's certainly the dream for some, but the appeal is also in simply watching capable hands at work. Just try notto be swayed, you cynical gits, by someone making woven bark fibre, a cord drill and a forge blower from absolutely nothing.
Secretly, I hope our shirtless friend never speaks out loud. He does reply to comments on YouTube and his blogs occasionally, but with a polite straightness that waves away any myth-making.
How does he have these skills? "Research and trial and error." What camera does he use? "Nikon D3200."
"I don't live in the wild but just practice this as a hobby," he writes on the blog. "I live in a modern house and eat modern food. I just like to see how people in ancient times built and made things. It is a good hobby that keeps you fit and doesn’t cost anything apart from time and effort."
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable That doesn't stop his followers, who note the time stamp of even a casual smile caught on camera, from indulging in some The Blue Lagoonreveries. Maybe we do, even briefly, want to be looked after.
The point is, it's a lovely fantasy. If you're sick and tired of this hectic year, why not watch a man build a fence around a field of yams?